Mastering Communication Skills to Deal with Narcissistic Bosses | Expert Training by Dan O'Connor, Wizard of Words

Situation 1: The narcissist boss takes credit for your ideas in a team meeting.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Remain calm and composed.
2. Document your contributions and ideas.
3. Address the issue privately with your boss, expressing your concerns and providing evidence.
4. Suggest collaborating on projects to ensure your contributions are acknowledged.
5. Seek support from colleagues who have witnessed your contributions.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Confront the boss publicly during the meeting.
2. Respond with anger or aggression.
3. Gossip or complain to coworkers about your boss.
4. Retreat and stop sharing ideas altogether.
5. Seek revenge by intentionally sabotaging projects.

Situation 2: The narcissist boss constantly interrupts and dismisses your opinions during meetings.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Remain confident and assertive.
2. Maintain a calm and respectful tone when expressing your thoughts.
3. Use "I" statements to communicate how their behavior affects you.
4. Suggest implementing a meeting protocol to ensure everyone's voices are heard.
5. Document instances of interruptions and dismissals for future reference.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Yell or argue with the boss in front of others.
2. Withdraw from participating in meetings.
3. Become overly passive and avoid sharing opinions.
4. Complain about the boss to coworkers without addressing the issue directly.
5. Send an angry or confrontational email about the interruptions.

Situation 3: The narcissist boss consistently belittles and criticizes your work.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Maintain a professional demeanor and control your emotions.
2. Seek constructive feedback from other trusted colleagues.
3. Document instances of belittlement and criticism, including specific examples.
4. Discuss your concerns with HR or a supervisor, if appropriate.
5. Focus on your strengths and achievements to maintain confidence.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Respond with defensive or aggressive behavior.
2. Retaliate by criticizing the boss's work.
3. Ignore the criticisms and continue making the same mistakes.
4. Share negative feedback about the boss with coworkers.
5. Give up and start looking for another job without addressing the issue.

Situation 4: The narcissist boss micromanages your every move.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Maintain open lines of communication with your boss.
2. Proactively provide updates on your progress to address their need for control.
3. Seek clarification on expectations and deadlines to minimize micromanagement.
4. Suggest a trial period where you have more autonomy to demonstrate your competence.
5. Keep a record of successful projects to show your ability to work independently.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Ignore or defy their instructions intentionally.
2. Complain openly about the micromanagement to colleagues.
3. Question their authority or competence in front of others.
4. Avoid seeking guidance or clarification, leading to mistakes.
5. Quit or threaten to quit without discussing the issue first.

Situation 5: The narcissist boss takes advantage of your time and expertise without giving proper credit or compensation.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Keep a log of the tasks you've completed and the time spent on each.
2. Communicate your concerns about credit and compensation in a calm and professional manner.
3. Present evidence of your contributions during performance evaluations or meetings.
4. Consider discussing the issue with HR or a supervisor, if necessary.
5. Set boundaries and negotiate for fair recognition and compensation.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Refuse to do any extra work or go above and beyond your job description.
2. Demand credit and compensation publicly or aggressively.
3. Complain to coworkers about the boss's behavior without addressing it directly.
4. Withhold information or expertise as a form of retaliation.
5. Take credit for others' work to even the score.

Situation 6: The narcissist boss plays favorites and creates a toxic work environment.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Focus on building positive relationships with colleagues and allies.
2. Maintain professionalism and avoid engaging in gossip or negative discussions.
3. Seek support from HR or a supervisor if the toxic environment persists.
4. Document instances of favoritism or unfair treatment.
5. Create your own support network within the organization.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Engage in office politics to undermine the boss and their favorites.
2. Spread rumors or gossip about the boss or favored colleagues.
3. Isolate yourself from the team and refuse to collaborate.
4. Complain openly about the favoritism without taking any action.
5. Seek revenge by intentionally sabotaging the favored colleagues' work.

Situation 7: The narcissist boss frequently takes personal credit for the team's achievements.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Communicate openly with your team members about the issue.
2. Document the team's accomplishments and individual contributions.
3. Present the team's achievements in a collective manner during meetings or presentations.
4. Discuss your concerns with your boss privately, providing evidence of the team's contributions.
5. Suggest implementing a recognition system that highlights individual and team achievements.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Confront the boss publicly and accuse them of stealing credit.
2. Badmouth the boss to clients or colleagues outside the organization.
3. Stop putting in effort and become disengaged from your work.
4. Seek validation and recognition solely from the boss.
5. Expose the boss's behavior on social media without discussing it internally first.

Situation 8: The narcissist boss frequently interrupts your personal time with work-related demands.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life.
2. Communicate your availability and preferred methods of contact during non-work hours.
3. Prioritize and manage your workload efficiently to reduce last-minute demands.
4. Discuss the issue with your boss, emphasizing the need for work-life balance.
5. Suggest alternative solutions, such as delegating tasks or reevaluating priorities.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Ignore or refuse work-related requests during personal time without explanation.
2. Complain about the interruptions to coworkers without addressing the issue directly.
3. Respond with anger or frustration when contacted outside of work hours.
4. Stop providing any support or assistance during personal time.
5. Threaten to quit or actually quit without discussing the issue first.

Situation 9: The narcissist boss disregards your professional development and growth.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Take responsibility for your own professional development.
2. Identify specific areas of growth and seek out learning opportunities independently.
3. Communicate your desire for growth and advancement to your boss.
4. Present a plan or proposal for your development, highlighting the benefits for the organization.
5. Seek support from mentors or colleagues who can provide guidance and advice.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Wait for your boss to take the initiative for your professional development.
2. Complain to coworkers about your boss's lack of support without addressing the issue directly.
3. Reject any additional responsibilities or challenges.
4. Undermine your boss's authority by seeking guidance from other managers.
5. Quit or threaten to quit without discussing your growth concerns with your boss.

Situation 10: The narcissist boss frequently engages in manipulative tactics to maintain control.

Correct way to handle the situation:

1. Educate yourself on manipulative tactics and their impact on communication.
2. Maintain a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.
3. Keep communication clear, concise, and focused on facts and objectives.
4. Set boundaries and assertively communicate your limits.
5. Seek guidance from a mentor or professional coach to navigate manipulative situations.

Incorrect way to handle the situation:

1. Play mind games or engage in manipulative tactics in return.
2. Disengage from all communication and interactions with the boss.
3. Engage in power struggles or office politics.
4. Seek revenge by exposing the boss's manipulative behavior to higher-ups without evidence.
5. Succumb to the manipulative tactics and allow the boss to control your actions and decisions.