HOW TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK

This introductory lesson is to be completed before starting the course

1. How to use visual cues, flashcards, and other learning tools to speed up the learning process and help you experience quicker, more dramatic results
2. Getting started with your Danger Phrase and Power phrase Lists
3. Your Personal Compass
   1. What it is
   2. How it works
   3. How to use it
4. Communication Principles that are the foundation to the tactics you'll be implementing in this course

Lesson 1: The Elements of Taking a Stand, Standing Your Ground, and Not Backing Down

1. Introduction

-What tools you’ll be using and how to use them

• Flashcards
• Danger/Power Phrase List
• Lesson Review
• Worksheet

2. Body Language Strategies

-Eye Contact

• How much is too much
• Keeping your eyebrows calm
• Moving your eyes without moving your head

-Posture

-Hands

• What to do with them
• What they reveal
• Don’t cover any part of your body if you can help it

-Don’t tilt your head

-Turning to face someone

-Keep your feet pointed at the person you’re standing up to

• The Yellow Legal Pad and Pen

3.When it comes time to take a stand

The Rules

• Take your time
• Respect is the name of the game
• Focus on behavior, not people
• We train people how to treat us

Lesson 2: Foundational Tactics for Calling People out on their Behavior

• Boundary Statements
• Bottom-line Statements
• Saying No
• The 2-Step Process
• The 3-Step Process
• The 4-Step Process
• Staying On Message

• The Broken Record
• The Anti-Interruptor

• Calling People Out on Their Behavior

• Asking to hear it again
• Clarifying that you do not have ESP
• Saying it for them
• Getting to the reason

• Stating the facts as we knowThem

• When and How to call People Out
• The cost-benefit analysis
• Assigning people a number

• Lifting people up While Calling Them Out
• Using benefit language
• Finding Common Ground
• Agreeing with People
• The Solution-Focused Question
• The Surrender
• Disagreeing Vs. Seeing it Differently

• When and how to give them
• How to accept them
• How to not accept them
• The difference between accepting an apology and forgiving someone
• Framing consequences
• Giving people time
• When not to say please and thank you
• Responding to judgmental comments
• Apologies
  • The 4-step apology
• Fighting for the cause

Lesson 3: How to Turn the Tables on Difficult People and Take Control of Your Conversations by Knowing the Names and Mechanics of Tactical Questions: What they Are, How the Work, and How to Use Them.

Lesson 4: How to Use Scripting to Deliver Difficult Messages with Clarity, Power, and Focus

When you need to deliver a message that is powerful, clear, and on point without saying too much or too little, scripting is just what you're looking for.

When used correctly, scripting can help you sound like a communication superhero overnight.

In this lesson you’re going to learn how to use scripting to get the message from an abstract thought in your brain to a perfectly crafted message that seems to effortlessly fly out of your mouth.

Here’s what you’ll be learning how to deliver:

• Lead-in Lines
• The A-E-I-O-U Script
• A-Your actions
• E-The Effects
• I-I want
• O-Or else
• U-You’ll get
• Closing Lines

Lesson 5: Strategies for Crushing Egos and Forming Alliances and Work

 So this lesson is going to be our ego-crushing lesson.

You see, my goal is to set you free from the chains that others have placed on you. I want you to feel totally happy and free at work. If you’re here, chances are you feel as though others are really crucifying you. That really sucks. That’s a huge problem.

Huge.

Biggies like that don’t have simple solutions. If you really want to free yourself, remember that this relationship problem is like all others.

It’s not about what you are not getting…it’s about what you are not giving. That’s it.

Doesn’t it seem as though—those people who have been basically crucifying you—doesn’t it seem as though they are the ones who should take the blame for everything that has happened up to this point, totally admit it and apologize to you for having tried to to hold you down, then ask how to serve you better, then promise to do so, then do it?

I mean, if that happened—wouldn’t that basically be a miracle? As if true love had finally come to save the day before the last petal fell. Like a fairy tale, right? Well, wake up sleeping beauty because that enchanted rose isn’t getting any younger and if you don’t bring true love back into the picture, your carriage is turning into a pumpkin, those little people—you know—grumpy, judgy and backstabby at work—they’re following you to your next job, you’ll be stuck in your enchanted castle of lies you’ve told yourself, and worst of all, if you don’t wake up from this fairy tale you’ve created soon, the cycle will continue, the spell will remain cast, and if that last petal falls you shall forever remain a beast.

Now would that suck or what?

We are the miracle that transforms our crucifiers into our liberators. We are it. It all depends on who we are.

And who we decide to be to them.

This is the lesson that transforms the game.

Lesson 6: The Elements of Strategic Responses

I’ve created these (what I call) “free-style” scripts to help you get the words from your brain out of your mouth in the most effective way possible. I’m giving you examples of the words that I might choose in situations I’ve had or that others have suggested to me, but they’re made for you to change up and insert your own words to fit your unique experience. Of course, if you’d like, you can use the words I give you here if you think they’d be perfect for you.

We’re going to start off with some very simple strategies and finish with some more complex ones.

Remember as you think about your situation to carefully consider who you’re standing up for. If you’re standing up for yourself, for example, let’s say your personal compass states that you are an honest, considerate person who is here to love and wants to be a conduit for good and positive transformation in the world. Does what you’re saying or what you’re planning to say reflect that?

Today’s free-style scripts:

The Hamburger:

1. When you . . .
2. I feel . . .
3. Because . . .

THE NTFS:

1. Notice
2. Think
3. Feel
4. Suggest

The Hard-Reset:

1. I think we got off on the wrong foot
2. I was hoping we could start over and wipe the slate clean
3. So we could move forward on a productive, positive path
4. I’m willing to do that starting now, are you?

Power Phrases:

• I don’t engage in idle gossip. And I don’t think you do either, do you?
• I don’t have a problem with you, but I’m sensing you might have one with me. Do you?
• I don’t know _____, but I do know______.
• Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
• I'm sure you’re not the only one.

In today’s lesson you’ll learn how having just 10 essential strategies—some you’ve learned, some may be new to you—and being able to shoot them off at a moment’s notice can prepare you for nearly any situation, and elevate your communication status to “a force to be reckoned with” in a flash.

Remember that confidence comes with knowing you have what it takes to get the job done. Being nervous is simply a sign that you recognize an opportunity as an important one—possibly one that can change the trajectory of your life. People who are never nervous are frequently either naive, out-of-touch, or arrogant.

If you recognize a situation as a possible turning point, have the right tools to deal with it, and have practiced your skills, giving you the experience to do it right, you will achieve the results you’re looking for. The more you do this, the more you will build your confidence. When you build confidence on a solid foundation it’s infectious, and soon others will have more confidence in you as well, and you will become the “go to” communication guru in your peer group.

If you care about your communication skills and the impact they have on the world—as I’m sure you do if you’re reading this—chances are you’ll always be a little nervous when it comes time to speak up, stand up for yourself, and stand your ground when up against one of your master teachers, but as long as you keep practicing and seeking new solutions if one doesn’t work for you, each time you do it, your confidence will grow until it outweighs your nerves.

Today I’m going to give you 10 examples of situations that require advanced communication skills to be dealt with effectively. I’d like you to start with these, and use the 10 tactics in today's infographic to deal with them. Keep practicing by using them in real-life situations, in role-playing activities you make up with trusted friends, and by yourself using past situations and/or anticipated challenges until you can access and use these tactics with ease.

Reinforce the successes you have by sharing them with me on my blog or in an email, and make sure to contact me if you need any help or would like suggestions for other courses or products to further expand you communication skills; I’m here for you.

In this bonus lesson you're going to be introduced to the key to understanding what is really at the heart of people and their desires, their fears, their wants, and what really makes them THEM.

Get ready, because you're going to be introduced to a life-changing tool that you can use to strengthen every message you send, and transform every relationship in your life.

This is the enneagram.